The Problem With Asian Parents (First Generation Asian Immigrant Parenting)

23 thoughts on “The Problem With Asian Parents (First Generation Asian Immigrant Parenting)

  1. its the road god choose  for you   go to what your heart tells u to do its your life not ur parents lives

  2. Brother:

    You are 100% correct.

    I have a 5-yr and 8-yr old kids. I am pushing my kids to try hard to read and write because of their ages. I used their grades as a way to monitor and teach them good habits. I push for high grades. I try hard to get them involve with both academic, sport, and social events. Please comment if there is something that I can improve.

  3. Your analysis is great. For years I loved Asian parenting since from the outside looking in the children are successful. But I am an outsider. A lot of Asian children will be successful but are they really doing what they want for their lives?

  4. I think he misunderstands internal locus of control (it’s considered a positive thing in psychology but he conflates it with self-blame and criticism [although the concept has been criticized for ignoring sociopolitical contexts]). Also he’s (obviously) overgeneralizing but there’s a lot of truth to it, I wonder how much has to do with being an immigrant in general (regardless of cultural background)?

    P.S. Humbleness is not a word, it’s “humility”. 🙂

  5. African parents are the same way. I think most first generation international parents are the same way m

  6. I think your analysis is spot on, and I’m glad to see an Asian American finally articulate this in a way that makes sense. Unfortunately, I think too many Asians buy into the victimization argument that claims that the lack of Asian leadership and creative positions is due to discrimination and racism. They are unwilling to look within at the collective cultural and parental aspects of our lives. I will say that the second generation of Asian Americans have a great opportunity to synthesize the best aspects of western and eastern culture. We have the potential to raise kids who are hard working, humble, successful, but also creative, ambitious, and independent. We just need to overcome our victim mentalities and culturally misplaced childhoods.

  7. This is 200% true.
    I recently got first division and going for MA. But my parents is like you know what MA is worthless, give exam and get a job. When I told them that hey I am doing it anyway, they compare with several families who always think of money. This happened to me today.
    I got first division and most of my college life I spent in video games and Anime. Still teachers love me because I am smart. I am from India. And your videos calm me to extent after hearing lots of insult from parents.

  8. This is why I steer clear of asian women. But I didn’t know it was that bad.
    The tunnel vision thing is along the lines of what Hans Herman Hoppe observed where asians are very under-represented in argumentative professions such as law.

  9. I am first-generation Asian Immigrant parent. My son is 17 now. It is really hard for old folks like us to adjust and learn to unlearn what we knew and believed. Thank you for the video. Thank you for this piece of advice – “For any Asian parents watching this, if your kids are still young, encourage them to do things that are outside the box.”

  10. My uncle told me the same thing. He wanted me to get an MBA. He said i am smart, etc. But when i thought of the debt, and i don’t think it’s worth it. Getting an MBA is not guaranteed to get a good job.

  11. I have first gen Asian parents. Money, Survival, and Reputation. They only know three motivation. They are only surviving world. They don’t know how to live in the world. They don’t have a democratic type communication. It either their way or no way. They have no idea how to have convincing argument. They never care about social skills. They never know what love is. It puzzle them. They are also very uneducated. They are anti fact, anti listening and anti-learning. (They want you to learn but refuse to learn) They had 40 years to learn English. Complex ideas confused them. If you remove the language barrier, they aren’t that smart. (They always use it so they don’t have to listen) Their logic is usually base on how they feel over facts.

  12. Comparing yourself to those who are more fianncially well off than you leads to depression. Comparing yourself to people who aren’t as fortunate as you can lead to a superiority complex. I think the best thing we can do is play the hand we were dealt. The pessimissm/defeatism is degenerate and will not lead to you mastering yourself.

  13. I know the feeling and im not asain. At least you turned out well and can move on from your parents.

  14. when it comes to chinese it seems like money is everything to them they are very materialistic. jerry whats your opinion about marriage in china wherethe man has to pay a large sum of money to the parents to marry there daughter.

  15. My parents are the same thing, mostly my mom. She loves comparing me to others, & it just annoys the living crap out of me. I lost a bit of confidence as a result. Maybe that’s why I don’t take college seriously, it’s worthless, sure I had some fun moments but still. Asian parents say that I need to get a better education, but I seen people on eBay make more money than Grad students.

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