What makes Tiger Parenting so Successful

 

Tiger Mother the Real Story

A tiger mother is a term that is used to describe a parent who uses a strict and demanding style of parenting. Tiger parents push their children to be successful especially academically no matter what. This style of
parenting originates from Asia and it was brought into the public domain by Amy Chua who is a Yale Law Professor in her memoir titled Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Amy has two daughters who achieved a lot academically and musically and as a result she based her argument from her personal experience of raising her daughters in a way that they became successful academically.

Tiger Dad

Basic Characteristics of Tiger Parent

Some of the primary characteristics of tiger parents include that the parents will prioritize schoolwork over everything else. Such a parent will only allow her children to participate in other activities if only they
can win rewards. When such a parent allows her children to participate in non academic activities she expects the children to be rewarded. This is because the parent believes that by winning the awards the children will be accepted into the best schools. Therefore, everything she does is meant to raise the academic status of her children so that they can become great scholars.

The Story Goes On

Another important characteristic of this style of parenting is that the parent is very demanding. She will not accept below par performance from her children especially academically. The mother would rather deny her children everything else to ensure they perform well academically. Sometimes this is seen as a desire for the mother to enable her children be able to have better lives once they are adults. This type of parent will also try to have psychological control over her children. She will rarely compliment them in public so that the children can know that they have to give their all so as to impress her. Such a mother will also deny the children freedom to make some of their decisions independently. The mother will make such decisions such as when to watch TV or the kind of friends her children should be associating with.

The Criticism of Tiger Parenting

There has been criticism against tiger dads and tiger moms style of parenting with some people claiming that the children are denied the opportunities to discover their talents. This is attributed to the fact that the parent is the one who decides the path that her children’s future follows. A child might be good in sports but will not have an opportunity to discover his or her talent because her parent will not allow her to spend a lot of time participating in sports. The people who have praised this style of parenting say that children might not have enough knowledge to make their own decisions. By compelling them to excel academically the parent will be giving them a platform to have better lives. This is especially true for the generation of parents who grew up believing that the only way to be successful in life is excelling academically.

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Success is relative

Tiger parents style of parenting can have different effects on the children. One of these effects is that the children will grow up being disciplined and therefore will be more responsible. When the children excel academically
they are also more likely to have good jobs and therefore lead better lives. But the lack of social interactions while growing up might make the children have a hard time when they grow up where they will not be able to interact effectively with other people. Therefore a tiger mother will be seen as harsh and strict but deep down she has the best interest of her children at heart.

Helicopter Parents flying in low for their Kids

Helicopter Parenting in the 21st Century

Helicopter parenting was first described by a psychologist in 1969, referring to the habit of closely monitoring or hovering over children and swooping in to their rescue whenever a problem arises. Helicopter parents are also referred to as bulldozer or lawnmower parents and usually take a significant responsibility for everything that happens in their children’s lives. They therefore micromanage the activity and behavior of their young ones (sometimes even teens) and act as a constant shadow in their lives.

Reasons behind Helicopter Parenting

This type of parenting is most often associated with the first child.  However, it is often extended to the other children as well.  Usually, the first child is most often lavished with parental attention at times bordering on helicopter parenting but then it is extended to all the other children in the family for a number of reasons:

Anxiety 

This is one of the most common factors behind this parenting style.  If you want to avoid being a helicopter parent it is recommended to not watch the news.   Especially in today’s state of the world with all the craziness independent of any political leaning.  There seems to be no taboo that will not be discussed in the media or in entertainment.  In the past such things would be discussed late at night when children were less apt to be up to watch television.  When people are on t.v. for no particular reason than just because of a scandal, that is not a good thing.  These are  factors that might push helicopter parents to try and take control of their children’s lives in order to shield them from harm.

Personal Experience

Individuals who grew up feeling neglected or ignored could subconsciously end up trying to compensate for these
feelings by being involved to excessive levels in the lives of their children. They end up showering them with attention and constantly monitoring them in order to cover the psychological deficiency that they might have felt growing up.

Peer Pressure

Pressure from your peers is not something that is done among young kids and teenagers.  While it may not be as prevalent it can be an important reason why some parents behave certain ways with their kids.  Parents normally take a keen interest in the parenting style of other parent around them. They might therefore gradually turn into helicopter parents by merely watching other similar parents at it. What triggers this reaction is that letting nature take its course for your child while others are shielded may make one feel guilty of
being a bad parent.

Preventing Perceived Failure

All parents experience some level of fear for their children as they face various challenges in life. Any parent
would want their child to get the best possible grades in school, to get into a prestigious college, to make their preferred sports team and to land their desired job. When they feel that they can do something to prevent failure in
these and other aspects of life, some go ahead and intervene.

Effects of Helicopter Parenting

The intention behind this kind of parenting is certainly positive as all parents only want the best for their
children of all ages. While there are some positive results experienced from this parenting style, there is need to exercise balance so as to avoid some common negative effects.

 

Here are some Pros and Cons of Helicopter Parenting:

Pros:

  • Being involved in your children’s lives makes it possible to detect even the slightest behavioral changes that are at times warning signs for serious problems. This makes it possible to prevent disastrous habits that might otherwise wreck their lives.
  • It gives parents the opportunity to enjoy every stage of their children’s development.
  • Children grow up knowing they have a strong support system backing them up and they can always turn to their parents when times are tough.

Cons:

  • Some children of helicopter parents do not learn to think independently and might therefore become highly dependent on parents even into adulthood.
  • The anxiety that at times is the root cause of this kind of parenting is infectious and might make the child grow up afraid, anxious and even depressed.

 

What brings Parenting Success

Every form of parenting has its good parts as well as its bad parts.  To be the best parent that you can be, should be done with an open mind and a major heap of common sense.  Like in Chinese culture there is always a Yin to a Yang.  Everything must be balanced to achieve true success and happiness.

Dolphin Parenting for the New Millennium

 

Dolphin Parents and Why You Might want to Become One

Parenting Styles for the New Millenium

One of the most interesting things about being a parent is that there are great differences in how we raise our children. At the same time, there are some similarities in how children are raised. Because of these similarities, researchers have grouped parents into different types of parenting. One of these types is the Dolphin parent.

What is a Dolphin parent

As a parenting style that you may never have heard before, here are the basics of what a Dolphin parenting is.  Touted as the key to raising smarter and happier children, dolphin parents are some of the best parents. By trusting their own instincts, dolphin parents allow their children to develop a sense of community, become creative, critical thinkers, and adaptable. These are some of the most important traits that children need to live in this complex world. Just like dolphins live and play together in a community, so are ideally humans. By living as a family and promoting a sense of happiness humans are social in nature.

While dolphin parents have expectations and rules, they also encourage creativity and independence. Just like the dolphin, they are flexible and firm and, therefore, nurture their children in a very positive way. This, therefore, results in developing a sense of independence. According to studies, these children have an increased confidence, better academic performance, better social skills and an enhanced self-motivation.

When it comes to discipline, dolphin parents usually discipline their children through providing transparent rules and role modelling. In case the rules are broken these parents act as a guide while allowing their children to learn through making mistakes while making their own decisions. Adapting a flexible but a firm approach is one of the most important aspects of dolphin parenting.

Dolphins in real life are also playful and intelligent animals. They tend to exhibit playful habits. This is another major aspect of this type of parenting.  Being able to play with your child. As a parent, especially a father, there are several benefits that come with playing with your child. If you want your children to learn how to get along with their peers and how others are thinking, then fathers play a crucial role.

Overall, dolphin parents are:

· Balanced and collaborative– While these parents are firm they are also flexible hence they value individual passions, autonomy, and independent choices.
· Do not over-schedule– Since imposing schedules on children can stress them out, these parents do not over-schedule.
· They do not over-instruct– For the children to learn, the parent needs to combine the classroom and the real-life kinds of learning. This is what dolphin parents do.
· The do not overprotect– While dolphin parents protect their children from serious harm they do not overdo this. They allow them to make as many mistakes as possible and also to clean up the mess.
· They adapt– Instead of parenting their children the same way, they adapt to the changing environment and the changing kids.

Final thoughts

For you to be a dolphin parent you must be firm and flexible. You also need to allow your children to make their own mistakes and choices as long as they will clean up the mess. Most importantly, you need to play with your children as much as you can since this will help them to develop their thinking, social, and emotional skills.  Skills that will enable them to get through childhood and become successful in their futures.